Tuesday, 25 April 2017

love your enemies

As I threw my phone at my cupboard my room mates stare in shock, as tears over flow me, they say nothing, I jump up with anger and toss everything out, finding my running shoes I hide away, I put them on and leaving the mess,,I take my keys and leave with a huge storm banging every door I pass, walking towards the bus stop my tears are still going, how could she! She pushed me, but then again, was I the one doing all the pushing..as the bus comes I hop on with even more tears, everyone stares as if something has happen, something did happen but no one knew about that, as I waited to get off at the next bus stop I cried and cried, Like a baby left at someone door step, who knew the pain I carry would lead  me to the doors of the Lord, I question everything, why did she stop loving me? Why did she stop believe in me? The one who believed I could do anything now was the one who thought I was a lost course, what happen? All these questions hit me like a wave of fire burning me inside out, the bus stops and I hop off, it’s a beautiful day yet I don’t feel beautiful at all, I start to run, and do not stop, hearing cars hoot at me I keep running, I was mad, sad, even more I had no idea what I felt towards the company who was meant to help me, I did everything for them, I did everything they asked me to do yet I was still not good enough then they bashed me with a photo of me against my will and when I asked it being removed they never removed it stating it was a good photo but cutting me out, oh how they cut my heart in to sheds and enjoy every moment of it,  even when it was over a year old they still used it, who are they to destroy my life, now they take the one person who ever believed in me, and who do I have now?  Its as if my world has been turn up side down, and I had no voice in it, there was only one person I had and that person I was running to, with speed as a horse, jumping along cars and missing pot holes, I ran to the one person who understands rejection and pain, as I stood in front of the doors of grace and peace, I enter them with pain and greet my fellow brothers, “hey can I go to the prayer room”? “Yes of course” as I walked in to the prayer room I fell on my knees flat down, pouring out my pain and hurt to the Lord, this was war, this was the war of my life, I was not going be like them, I was not going hate them, I was only going love them in prayers and in tears too. This wasn’t about being right anymore this was bigger and I was not going fall back in to depression, I was going fight and I was going fight with everything I got. I felt peace as I was on my knees. I knew it was time to trust God and even when I had every reason to give up I was not going give up.

I was going remember the good they did, I was going remember the good she did, I was going love them even when they blamed me for their mess up stupid mistakes But I was going love them in prayers and I was going talk good things about them even when they spoke death over me,  Who knew  Matthew 5;44  (But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you) would be the very thing I had to do. As I got up and left the building of hope I started to run and speed over along the bridge of death, was this a big mess and oh I had to face it but I had to face it with Jesus right by my side, the one who loves me and never will give up on me, with the many tears i had i waited for my bus home, Oh how life is going change and oh how this is going change me like a broken cup being re build, this was the beginning of a very big war, a war I was ready for.

Thursday, 20 April 2017


Life can be tough, I mean thank the Lord we not rats hey! Rats are always ducking and diving for their lives because we the human beast are trying kill them! Life isn’t easy, people get bully, people get lied to and even cheated on but there is always hope.
I have learnt to smile when I don’t feel like it and laugh when everyone is waiting for me to break down! My kinda break down now days is going to a play ground and singing children songs! Perhaps you should try it! It sure is good for the soul!
To those people who cant stop crying I have some good news, keep crying and while you at it grab a ice cream! It always works for me! Life is taken way to serious and while that is happening why don’t we just be like children and act out how we feel! Its great therapy!

We worry so much but do you see the birds worrying? Nope, they have everything handed to them day by day. If you feeling like your life is about to come to end hold on it will get better! While its storming take your shoes off and start dancing in it because after any storm there is a beautiful rainbow just as beautiful as you are, so stay strong!

Monday, 3 April 2017

I praise you when I can not see

The Lord is great, his mighty hand created me and build me up, The Lord is great, His mighty hand created me and tore me down, all praise to him! The one who gives and takes away!
His love is never ending, his wonders makes me disappear in the words of the book of life oh how I praise you when I can not see! You took away both my family, You whip me up and box me up with nothing but dirt and ship me along the sea and bam it made land! Oh how I praise you when I can not see! You took away all my families leaving me so isolated and freezing, You took a heater and blew me with your mighty fire! The Lord is great, his mighty hand created me and let me become bait for the blue car and bam it hit me over and over, all praise to him! The one who gives and takes away!

His love is never ending, his wonders make me drift off in to the house of prayer, oh how I praise you when I can not see! You took 3 cars and bashed me leaving me for dead, all praise to him! The one who gives and takes away! Oh how you Lord let the pain get inside of me leaving me with scars, oh how you allow all of this, you allow the green building to break me in to cricket bats and  that broke in to no use but oh you Lord you are the one who builds me up! You took my brokenness and lead me to the prayer room and there I am with nothing but pain and rejection, your hand reaches me and there I take it, both of them! All praise to you Lord for you the one who gives and takes away! I praise you even when I can not see! all praise to the mighty Lord!